Authentically Nita

Sometimes I think Ex loved me more than I loved myself.  He loved me so much that he put me on a pedestal and held me to a higher standard. There were so many things that I was supposed to be.  Pretty but humble, kind-hearted but unyielding, well kept but natural, conservative but open-minded, reserved but out-going, strong but soft, cordial but not too friendly.  It was almost impossible and quite draining to keep up with.  Still, I was determined to keep it up.  Ex thought more highly of me than I thought of myself and I wanted to be everything he thought I was.  So I did....or at least, I tried. Sometimes I was too friendly or didn't say the right thing.  Other times I held back too much and came off as awkward.  It was a little nerve-racking to not know when I should or shouldn't speak to someone.  Normally, I would just speak to store clerks to be polite.  Now, I needed to make sure I wasn't being, "joe."  It really wasn't...

I feel compelled to fill you in on what happened to change me as a person and stop me from writing for so long.  It has been a long journey and I think you will understand me more if I explain. Let me tell you about my marriage... I met Ex long before we got married.  We married in 2011 in a very rushed ceremony while he was on house arrest fighting a case. (He was later aquitted of all charges). You will never hear me say that I did not love my ex-husband. I loved that man. From the moment I met him, I felt like no one else on the planet understood me the way he did. The night we met, we sat on bar stools next to each other and talked for an hour and a half. We talked like we had been friends for years. We talked about life and family, about current events and politics and about music and movies. I wondered why I had not met him sooner. I was 22. Now, here I was, at age 30, feeling doubt in my heart while standing at the alter holding his hands. The doubt was not from me thin...

UPDATE:  Philly is open to giving 50 homes to Encampment Protesters The homeless encampments in center city and north Philly received their final notice from the city this morning. It has been a couple of weeks since the City of Philadelphia won the right to forcefully remove the people who have taken up camp in both locations.  Last night I toured the Center City encampment. They have some ideas about where they will set up once removed however the fear is that no matter where they go, the city will make them leave. There were Uhaul trucks waiting outside of the encampment to transport the campers' tents which were donated or purchased with donated funds. The camp is well organized. They have a kitchen where they provide meals and they ask that everyone mask up. They also provide free masks. The donation booth is easily noticed. The people in the encampment are not bad people. While I was in the encampment I was asked not to video record so out of respect for the people I won...