Authentically Nita

A few months ago, I posted a question on Facebook and Instagram, What do men want? Let's take a look at the answers I received: Traditional answers: The first two responses that I received are listed below. I've heard this from a lot of men over the years, so I don't think it's anything new or surprising. These men want to lead their family and they want a woman who allows them to do that. If you ask Google, 'Should a man lead the relationship?' it will tell you, "a man's role in a relationship is to lead." Then it will list a bunch of articles about why men should lead the relationship and why you should let them. I guess it's only natural that men want to lead because society teaches us that this is the way a relationship is run. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just making the point that men want to lead because that's what they've been taught. Likewise, many women prefer that the man leads the relationship be...

Dating should be exciting and fun, but for many of us it can be a little stressful. When you first start dating, you are not quite sure what the other person's expectations are. You don't know what your date will think of you when they meet you in person. You may even be a little anxious or nervous. But don't let that deter you from dating. Dating can be an exciting and rewarding stage in your life, and if you have patience, it may lead to finding someone who's just right for you.  Here are some helpful tips that may improve your dating experience:  1. Be sensible - The first two things you should do before you start dating are to evaluate your attitude and be realistic. It is important that you be realistic about what you desire and don't expect too much from a first date. You should avoid making assumptions because it could lead to disappointment. The only expectations you should have when going on a first date are that the date will go well, and that it will ...

Are you confused about his intentions? How do you know if he's filling time with you or taking you seriously?  There are a number of signs that will let you know if he plans to take things further, or if he's not. Here are 10 signs to give you a hint:  1. He's inconsistent - If he's not seeing you regularly or there is limited conversation, then he's not really interested in you. Inconsistency with his dates or attention shows a lack of interest.  2. He doesn't like labels - This is want guys tell you when they don't want you to be there girlfriend. Trust me, when he finds the one he wants, he will put a label on it. 3. He hasn't discussed exclusivity - If he hasn't ever brought up monogomy he's not into you. I man who is into you, is not going to want to share you and he'll discuss being exclusive.  4. He told you he doesn't want anything serious - He means with you.  5. He doesn't laugh at your jokes - Someone who is into you usual...

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Years ago, before I was ever married, I remember asking a friend about trust. She was already married and had been with her husband for a few years. I asked her, "How do you know you can trust him? How do you have faith in him to do the right thing? Don't you ever worry he'll cheat on you?" She told me that you don't put your faith in your husband. You have faith in God. If your husband is doing something wrong, you trust in God to make it right. That conversation has always stuck with me. The bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths." (NKV Proverbs 3:5-6). I took her words, my Bible, and six weeks of marital counseling with our pastor into my marriage. Still, after only three months, my husband was having an affair. I felt sick. I felt stupid. I felt betrayed. I was angry, and everything they told me went null and void. When y...

We live in a society where finding the "perfect" romantic partner is highly valued. From social media to movies to television we are bombarded with messages about what love should look like, what we should expect from our relationships, and what it implies if our relationship does not meet those standards. Reality looks different from those love stories that we see and hear all around us. However, most people still go into a relationship with a preconceived idea about how they’ll be treated. Usually our expectations are positive and hopeful. But social media specifically, can contribute to unhealthy comparison and unrealistic expectations for what a relationship is supposed to be like. Your relationship won't meet your expectations if your expectations are unrealistic.   In most relationships we expect honesty, trust, affection, loyalty, kindness, and respect. These are realistic expectations and the foundation of a healthy relationship. Having standards isn't wrong. ...

Cheating is a self-serving act. No one benefits from cheating except the cheater, and maybe the person they are cheating with. It doesn't matter what the underlying reason is that leads to the act of cheating, ultimately, people cheat because they are selfish. I say this because cheating is a choice, and the cheater chooses to cheat rather than find another way to deal with their issues. Scientific America published an article titled, Why Do People in Relationships Cheat? The article looks at a completed study on why people decide to cheat. 495 people were recruited and participated in the study. An analysis of the study revealed eight key reasons that lead to cheating: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance. These "reasons" or feelings are not uncommon in relationships and most people have, or will experience them. I look at the reasons listed in this study as the motivation behind the che...