Skip to main content

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

What to do when you're feeling confused.

Photo by Felipe Cespedes

Love is not a decision. Love is a feeling. The feeling is either there, or it isn't. You know from the beginning, because you feel it from the beginning. You also know if the feeling is mutual. However, what we do sometimes, is ignore the signs that tell us that despite how we feel about him, he doesn't feel the same way. We then kind of waste our own time believing that there is something there, that simply isn't. The truth is, if he loved you, you would know. There would be no confusion, and no doubt.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are doubting where it's going and you're not sure if he's feels the same way about you, I recommend asking him directly, "Where is this going? Do you see us working out long term?" If he is unsure, or does not give you a direct answer, then you know what it is. You need to walk away from that situation. Before I get into why, I want to be clear that this post is not about/for married people, and it's not about/for people living together in long-term, committed relationships. I am speaking specifically to those who are still trying to figure it out, people in new relationships, and those who are still looking for a loving, meaningful relationship.

There is a song by Bonnie Raitt called, I Can't Make you Love Me. It was released originally in 1994 and then again in 2011 when it was sung by Adele. In the song she sings, 

"I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't"

Understand that you cannot make someone feel something that isn't there. No matter how much you want it. No matter how much you love/like him. If you force it, it will not last. Men know from the beginning if they are really into you and if they see a future with you. They know what they want and what they don't want. How many times have you heard of a man saying, "I saw her and I knew she was going to be my wife," or "I loved her since the first day I laid eyes on her." We hear these things from both real life stories and fiction. Men know from the beginning where they place you in their life. If he's not in love with you now, he never will be. That is not going to change. Let's suppose you continue in this relationship anyway. You're together, but you feel unfulfilled. He's probably just sticking it out because he does actually like you as a person, and no one else has come along to turn his head. Eventually though, someone will come along who gives him the real feeling of love. When that time comes, he will either leave you, or cheat. Love is a feeling and he will act on it. It's human nature. This is why we shouldn't force relationships or pressure people to do things they are hesitant about. Because let me tell you, when someone loves you, there will be no hesitation. When someone is in love with you and you're in love with them, it's the best feeling in the world. You can't mistake that for anything and you shouldn't settle for anything less.


Labels:
Location: Philadelphia, PA, USA

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 16, 2022 at 11:07 PM

    Im a man and I can tell any woman. We are decisive when you are not. We are descision makers by nature. If its real you could never change our mind. Thats why theres alway a "The one that got away". Be cause I was serious and She was not.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Create a Romantic Valentine Room for Your Special Someone

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and if you're still scrambling for a way to make your significant other feel special this year, why not go the extra mile and create a romantic room for them to come home to? This doesn't have to be an expensive or complicated process, in fact, it can be done on a budget with a little creativity. In this blog post, we'll go over the steps to create a truly special romantic space for your special someone, and show you how easy it is to bring a little extra love to your Valentine's Day this year. Step one: Start by ordering a Valentine Balloon kit from Amazon ahead of time. This will give you a head start on decorating your space with some fun Valentine's Day decor without having to run around town trying to find the perfect decorations. The balloons in these kits usually come in red, pink, and white, and have messages such as "I Love You" and "Be Mine" printed on them. You can choose different sizes,...
Post a Comment
Read more

Valentine's Day - 5 Gift Ideas for Him

Hey ladies, Valentine's Day is just around the corner and while it's supposed to be a day of love, a lot of times it ends up being all about us. This is the one holiday that can seem a bit one-sided. So let me remind you; men want to feel loved and appreciated too! You don't have to go all-out with grand gestures, but here are five great gift ideas that will make Valentine's Day feel special for him too! 1. Buy, or pre-order a game he has been wanting, or get him a gift card. This is going to tell him two things. The first thing it will tell him is that you are paying attention to his interests. The second is that you put thought and effort into his gift. If your man is not a video gamer, then get him a gift card to his favorite place. This could be anything from a coffee shop he visits every morning, to a gift card for playing golf. It's all about showing you pay attention and you care. 2. Plan a day out doing something he loves Valentine's Day doesn't have...
Post a Comment
Read more

7 Steps to Boost Your Credit Score and Improve Your Financial Standing

Building a good credit score is a crucial step towards financial stability, helping you secure loans, credit cards, and other financial benefits. It influences your mortgage rates, auto loan premiums, and even job opportunities. Conversely, a low credit score can limit your access to credit and increase your loan costs. If you're looking to raise or improve your credit score, there are steps you can take to improve it. In this blog post, we'll discuss seven steps to help boost your credit score. Review your credit report The first step to improving your credit score is to review your credit report. Obtaining a copy of your report from Equifax, Experian, or TransUnion every year is free of charge. Look for discrepancies or errors and dispute them. These errors can hurt your credit score, and it's essential to correct them early. Pay bills on time It's essential to pay all your bills, including credit card payments, loan installments, and utility bills, on time. Late paym...
Post a Comment
Read more

Proof that You Were NOT the Problem

Have you ever gone through a breakup where your former partner made you feel like you were the problem? You analyzed every interaction, replayed every conversation in your head, wondering where you went wrong. Yet you just can't figure it out. Well what if I told you that the reason you can't figure it out is because you did nothing wrong. And the proof that you did nothing wrong is in him STILL contacting you? If he's doing any of these things ladies, you were NOT the problem. Casual Contact, Hidden Intentions: The Subtle Approach: He reaches out with seemingly innocuous texts or social media interactions. The Real Motive: He's keeping the door open, hoping you'll reciprocate his feelings. The Respectful Response: He needs to respect your boundaries and let you move on. Social Media Stalking: The Digital Obsession: He's constantly monitoring your stories and posts. The Underlying Desire: He's still invested in your life and wants to be a part of it. The ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dating After 40: How To Approach It Differently

Age is just a number, and you're never too old to find love. But let's be real: dating after 40 can be a bit daunting. If you're single and dating in your 40s, you know that your patience, intuition, and emotional needs have changed over time, and so should your dating approach. It's important to take a step back and reevaluate your priorities before jumping back into the dating scene. Here are some tips on how to approach dating after 40. Create A List Of Priorities And Deal Breakers Before starting to look for a partner, make sure you have a clear idea of what you're looking for. Take some time to think about your priorities in a relationship. What are the qualities you want in a partner? What are your deal breakers? Things like being a cat or dog person, smoking preferences, or having kids can be important factors that determine the compatibility with a potential partner. Having a clear idea of what you want from a relationship will help you navigate the dating s...
Post a Comment
Read more

STOP Recycling Men: Here's Why You Deserve Better!

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a man who keeps revisiting his past, unable to detach from his old ways? Do you often feel like you're with someone who is not truly committed to growing and evolving themselves? If so, then it's time to put an end to it. Ladies, stop recycling men! Recycling is when you take an old, outdated thing, and make a new use of it. You deserve a man who is continually evolving and reinventing himself—a man who is letting go of his past, his soul ties, and his youthful mindset.  In this post, we'll explore why you deserve better and how to avoid the pitfalls of recycling men who are stuck in their old ways. You deserve a man who is ready and willing to create a completely new version of himself. Someone who is committed to shedding his old ways, letting go of soul ties, and breaking free from younger mentalities. Recycled men often come with baggage that prevents them from truly growing and evolving. And if you're with someone...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dating After 40: Why You Deserve a Man Who's Done the Work

Women in their 40s should have a different outlook on dating than those in their younger years. As we age, our priorities should change. What once seemed like an exciting project or a new endeavor may now feel like a waste of time. We reach a point where we no longer have time for "projects." And that includes men who don't have their shit together. A man must be stable, both financially and emotionally. We've invested time and energy building ourselves up and we deserve a partner who has done the same.  Once you reach a certain age, you can no longer afford to invest your time and energy into someone who isn't on the same page as you.  You've spent years working on yourself and improving your life. You've invested time and money into your education, career, and personal growth. You've learned the importance of taking care of your physical and mental health. So why should you settle for a man who hasn't done the same? A man who has done the work is...
Post a Comment
Read more

Places in Philly: Merlino's Hoagies

Merlino's Hoagies is located at 1501 Ellsworth St Philadelphia, PA 19146. I stopped by Merlino's the other day, because it had been a couple years since I'd been there. They're still the best in South Philly. I think they're the best in Philly, period. The store has been in business since the early 1900s. The Original sign is still displayed outside. This is a place with a reputation so good, that they don't have to spend money on advertising. They don't even have to spend money on making the place look modern, or flashy. The food speaks for its self! The meats and cheese are so fresh. The rolls are awesome. If you are watching your carb intake, they do make sandwhiches on white, or wheat bread. If you are visiting South Philly get your hoagies from Merlino's. You will not be disappointed. Visit Merlino's Facebook Page:  Melino's Hoagies  
Post a Comment
Read more