Authentically Nita

I'm 44, and while I'm no expert, I believe women in their 40's should have a different outlook on dating than those in their younger years. As we age, our priorities change. We reach a point where we no longer have time for "projects." And that includes men who don't have their shit together. At this age a man should be stable, both financially and emotionally. We've invested time and energy building ourselves up and we deserve a partner who has done the same.  Once you reach a certain age, you can no longer afford to invest your time and energy into someone who isn't on the same page as you.  You've spent years working on yourself and improving your life. You've invested time and money into your education, career, and personal growth. You've learned the importance of taking care of your physical and mental health. So why should you settle for a man who hasn't done the same? A man who has done the work is someone who is emotionally matu...

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a man who keeps revisiting his past, unable to detach from his old ways? Do you often feel like your person is not truly committed to growing and evolving themselves? If so, then you might be recycling men! Recycling is when you take an old, outdated thing, and make a new use of it. You don't deserve an outdated man who is stuck in ways. You deserve someone who is continuously evolving and reinventing himself—a man who is letting go of his past, his soul ties, and his youthful mindset.  Let's talk about why you deserve better and how to avoid the pitfalls of recycling men who are stuck in their old ways. You deserve a man who is ready and willing to create a completely new version of himself. Someone who is committed to shedding his old ways, letting go of old ties, and breaking free from younger mentalities. You deserve someone who is growing. Recycled men often come with baggage that prevents them from truly evolving. Baggag...

A lot of women fall into the trap of settling for men who are not growing emotionally or mentally. So, today let's explore the importance of investing in a partner who invests in themselves. We will look at the five warning signs that a man is not growing.  Unwilling to be accountable -  A man who is not willing to take responsibility for his actions or mistakes is not growing. He may blame others for his problems, make excuses, or refuse to admit when he's wrong. This lack of accountability can cause major problems in a relationship, leading to mistrust, resentment, and emotional distance.  Unaware of his faults -  A man who doesn't recognize his faults and limitations is not growing. He may have a fixed mindset, believing that he is who he is and can't change. (You know, those, "I'm set in my ways" guys). This can be frustrating for a partner who wants to grow and evolve together.  Dependent on you for every little thing -  A man who is dependent on you ...

Let's talk about weak men. We've all come across them. The ones who blame others for their shortcomings. The ones that struggle with accountability and reject anything that challenges them to be better. In essence - the narcissistic and self-centered ones. It is not easy to deal with these men, especially when you find yourself romantically involved with them. Weak men often have fragile egos, and anything that threatens their little fragile sense of self is perceived as a threat. We have to understand that these men are not secure within themselves, and they rely on external validation to feel good about themselves. Therefore, when you try to challenge them to be better, they feel like you are attacking them, and they become defensive. They cannot handle criticism, and they struggle with personal growth. One of the reasons why weak men struggle with personal growth is that they are afraid of change. They are comfortable in their current ways, and they are not willing to step o...

Ladies, it's time to stop dating needy men. You know the ones I'm talking about, the guys who seem to only take from the relationship and never give back. The ones who drain your energy, demand your attention and always need you to do something for them. If you're tired of being the Goodwill of your relationships and donating your vagina to men who don't deserve it, then this post is for you. First, let me clarify what I mean by “needy men.” These are men who are incapable of doing anything for themselves and believe that the world owes them something. They are the ones who always need you to babysit them emotionally or financially. When you’re dating a needy man, you are the one doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship. You're paying for the majority of expenses, driving them around, and picking up their messes.  Let me emphasize the importance of reciprocity in relationships. Relationships should be about give and take. When you're doing everything for ...

The hunt for the perfect man is never-ending. We want the total package – good looks, humor, wealth, great sex, and intelligence. However, statistics show that many men are not what they seem on the outside. Many of them are just little boys in a grown man's body. Immaturity comes in all shapes and sizes. Trouble happens when we assume that the exterior of a man represents the interior character. So let's talk about how to spot a real man and what qualities make them different from little boys. Photo by KoolShooters   Real men prioritize their mental health and well-being. Mental Health is often a topic that is rarely discussed in men, and some even consider it taboo. However, it is one of the greatest signs that a man is a real man. Real men prioritize their mental health by attending therapy sessions, taking breaks when overwhelmed and participate in activities that promote relaxation and self-care. They are not afraid to admit when things are becoming too much for them, and ...

We have all encountered rude people in our lives who don't realize how their behavior can overstep boundaries and cause others to feel disrespected. It can be tempting to use their behavior as an excuse to act rudely yourself in return, but doing so only perpetuates negativity. The key to becoming a class act is to respond to their behavior with calmness and compassion. Today, I am going to discuss how affirmations can help you achieve this goal. I have compiled a list of 19 affirmations that can help you respond to rude people in a positive way and improve your interactions. So, let's dive in! Photo by Madvortex 1) "I am patient and understanding" - When someone is being rude, it is easy to let our emotions take over. Instead, take a breath and remind yourself that others' actions often reflect something deeper going on in their lives. 2) "I like being polite" - Being polite may seem like an outdated courtesy in our fast-paced world, but it can make a w...

I think ...for you to truly understand, I have to go back to the beginning.  I love, being in love, and back in my 20s it was I could dream about. I wanted a husband and a friend. I wanted a soul mate and a lover. I wanted a family. I wanted to grow old with my husband. I dreamed that one day we would be elderly sitting on our porch in rocking chairs fussing at our grandchildren together. My husband and I.  Summer Fling 2002 - I was sitting in the kitchen listening to music when my mother called. She was at work and needed tampons. I grabbed the tampons and my purse and headed out the door. It was a warm summer night. I walked to the corner and checked for the bus. Nothing. I'd have to walk the four blocks to her job. It was Friday and the whole neighborhood seemed to be outside. Teenagers roamed the streets in groups talking loudly. Cars cruised down the block with various genres of music fading away as they passed. A small crowd lingered outside the Chinese store. I walked q...

Leadership is not just about a title or a designation, it's about much more than that. It's about the impact you make, the influence you have, and the inspiration you bring to your team. Sometimes it can be challenging to step up and embrace the role of a leader. However, it's crucial to understand that leadership comes naturally when you immerse yourself in the vision of what you want to achieve and the changes you want to have in your team or organization. Impact, influence, and inspiration play a big role. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio   Impact: Impact involves getting results that matter, not just for yourself but also for your team and organization. This means understanding the vision, driving the right outcomes, and being willing to assess shortcomings and seek feedback. To achieve impact, you must be able to not just set goals, but also create a plan with measurable actions and milestones. Celebrating success and learning from failures will help you build on what has be...

In today's modern world, women are rising to the forefront. However, many of us have hidden our precious qualities beneath external influences. It's time to reclaim our self-confidence and unleash our true potential. A self-confident person knows what they need to be happy and fearlessly pursues it. We are all born with the inherent belief that we can conquer the world, but as we navigate life, external pressures can erode our self-assurance. Whether it's the harsh realities we face or the expectations placed upon us, the impact is profound. To rediscover our true selves and regain our self-confidence, we must let go of external influences. Here are some practical tips to guide you on this empowering journey: 1. Embrace your "flaws" as strengths. Often, what we perceive as imperfections are invisible to others. Rather than hiding what you desperately want to hide, embrace your uniqueness and find liberation. 2. It's impossible to please everyone , and trying ...

Life can get a bit overwhelming as we get caught up in the frenzy of our daily responsibilities and obligations. From to-do lists to penciling in time, we try and control every aspect of our lives leaving little room for spontaneity. But what if we were to let go and allow things to flow naturally? What if by surrendering control and allowing ourselves to just be, we could experience a more genuine and fulfilling way of living. When we let things flow we open ourselves up to new possibilities, even if they deviate from our original plans. We let things happen in the moment without the constraints of how it should have happened, how it could have happened, or why it didn't happen. We stop conforming to societal expectations and worrying about how people are us. We live in the now and we show up as we are.  You may be wondering how you could do such a thing. You may feel like you have too many responsibilities. Too many people too not let down. An image to keep up. But by embracing a...

When it comes to relationships, there are certain topics that are often avoided, such as politics, religion, or even money. However, the latter is a crucial aspect in any partnership that can greatly influence the dynamics and longevity of the relationship. In particular, women tend to keep financial secrets from their partners early on, which can lead to misunderstandings, mistrust, and debt. As Manisha Thakor, a financial expert and co-author of “On My Own Two Feet,” advises, it’s important to be financially naked with your partner and have open and honest conversations about money. In this blog post, we’ll explore why financial honesty is crucial for relationships and how couples can improve their communication and management of finances. Photo by Mikhail Nilov   The first reason why financial honesty is critical in relationships is that it sets the foundation for trust. If one partner conceals their debt or overspending habits, it can lead to a power dynamic where they hold the...

Money management is key to building and maintaining wealth. And as women, it's important that we pay close attention to our finances and invest them wisely. One of the best financial tips that I've learned in my personal journey is to use different accounts for different purposes. By using this simple yet effective method, you can easily manage your money and reach your financial goals faster. How to set up different accounts: The first step is to determine which areas of your life require financial planning. This may include a retirement account, an emergency fund, a vacation fund, and so on. Then, open a separate account for each of these goals. Most banks offer free savings accounts, so take advantage of them. Once you have set up each account, determine the percentage of your income that should be allotted to each account. The benefits of using different accounts: By using different accounts, you can easily track your spending and savings. Each account is designed for a spe...

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you doubt your accomplishments and feel like a they happened because of luck, or being in the right place at the right time? Imposter Syndrome is a common phenomenon among high achievers, especially women. People with Imposter Syndrome may feel that they are not deserving of their achievements and fear being exposed as frauds. The exaggerated fear of failure sets a high bar for them, and small mistakes lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy. This kind of thinking can have a significant impact on your life, holding you back from reaching your potential. However, it's reassuring to know that it's a common issue and there are ways to overcome it.  If you feel like you are constantly fighting with your own thoughts and struggling with self-doubt, you are not alone. Here are five roles of imposter syndrome and practical ways to overcome them. The Perfectionist: Perfectionists look for things to go perfectly, and they become chronic...

When it comes to personal finances, creating a realistic budget is the crucial first step towards financial stability. It's a simple yet powerful tool that can help manage your finances and align your expenses with your income. In this blog, we'll guide you through a step-by-step approach to creating a realistic budget and help you step up your saving game! Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko   Calculate Your Monthly Income The first step in creating a realistic budget is to track your monthly income. This includes your salary, any additional sources of income, and bonuses. Make sure to consider all sources of income you receive each month, so you can accurately assess your financial standing. Identify Your Fixed and Variable Expenses The next step in creating your budget is to identify and categorize your expenses. Fixed expenses are those that stay the same each month, such as rent, insurance, and car payments. Variable expenses change from month to month, such as groceries, enterta...

For many women, retirement may seem too far away to start saving for it now. Alternatively, some women feel like they may not have enough money and therefore can't afford to save for retirement. As a result, most women tend to postpone their retirement savings until later in life, which can lead to formidable financial struggles when they retire. While it may seem difficult to start saving for retirement right now, the earlier you start, the more time your money has to grow. In this blog post, we will discuss why every woman should focus on retirement savings, regardless of their age or current financial status. Retirement is Expensive The cost of living continues to rise every year, which means that the cost of health care, housing, and daily expenses will only increase as well. Retirement can span anywhere from 20 to 30 years, which is a considerable amount of time that requires substantial savings. Therefore, the earlier you start saving, the better your chances of keeping your ...

Can being too nice be a relationship liability? When we think of someone as "nice," we often regard it as a positive quality to have. Being nice is frequently associated with traits such as kindness, empathy, and respect towards others. However, there are circumstances in which being too nice can signify a more significant problem. People who are too nice may struggle with setting boundaries, expressing their opinions, and making their voices heard. In this blog post, we will explore the concept of being "too nice" and how it can be a liability in a relationship. Photo by Kampus Production When Niceness is Not Genuine Niceness One of the main reasons why being "too nice" can be a liability is that it is not always genuine. Some people may be excessively nice as a way of avoiding conflict or pleasing others. Niceness, in this case, is a by-product of low self-esteem, a lack of assertiveness, or a fear of rejection. When you are constantly trying to please o...

Change is something that we all go through at various points in our lives. Whether it's a new job, a move to a new place, or a decision to improve your life, change can be both exciting and overwhelming. However, understanding the seven stages of change can help you navigate the process with ease and grace. In this blog post, we'll explore each stage and offer tips for how you can make the most of each one. So, if you're ready to embrace change and take your life to the next level, read on! Photo by Dinielle De Veyra Stage 1: Recognize the need for change and embrace it. The first stage of change is recognizing that you need to make a change and fully embracing it. Whether it's a need to improve your health, relationships, or career, recognizing that change is necessary is the key to moving forward. Embrace the change and take it as an opportunity to better yourself. Remember that wanting to improve yourself doesn't mean you're inferior - it's the first step...

Society often tells us that being single is a negative thing - that happiness and fulfillment come only when we're in a loving relationship. But the truth is, being single can actually be a wonderful thing - a time of self-discovery, personal growth, and happiness. In this blog post, we explore the joys of being single and how to make the most of this special time in your life. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio Reconnecting with Yourself Being single is the perfect time to reconnect with yourself. Instead of focusing on what you don't have (a romantic partner), try focusing on the things you do have. Spend time doing things you love; pursue your passions; learn a new skill or hobby. By focusing inwardly, you will not only deepen your self-awareness, but you will also develop independence and self-sufficiency. You may be surprised to find that the things you once thought you needed a partner to provide - like validation or emotional support - can actually come from within. Learning to ...

Breaking up with someone is hard, especially if you had a strong connection with them. While it's important to move on after a breakup, some people don't seem to get the memo. They try to stay in touch with their exes, even though the relationship is over. But the question is, why do they do it? And more importantly, why shouldn't you entertain their efforts? It's a Delaying Tactic: Men who try to stay in touch with their exes are simply delaying the inevitable. They don't want to let go completely, so they keep themselves in the picture, hoping that their exes will eventually change their minds. This tactic can delay the healing process for both parties involved, and it's not fair to either of them. The sooner you cut ties with your ex, the faster you can move on with your life. It Shows a Lack of Respect: Men who try to stay in touch with their exes don't always realize that they are not showing respect for their former partner's decision to end the r...

Ladies, we have all been there, we have all invested into a man who couldn't appreciate us. Time is a precious commodity that never stops ticking away. It doesn't matter if you're rich, poor, young, or old, time waits for no man. As women, we often find ourselves wasting our valuable time on men who do not deserve it. Those men who are not willing to put in the effort or match our level of commitment, leaving us feeling drained and unfulfilled. We believe that if we stick around and continue to pour more into him, he will eventually turn around and see how amazing we are. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Time waits for no man, and it's time for us to stop wasting it on someone who isn't worth it. He wasted your love, your money, and your energy, while you hoped that he would turn into someone worthy of your time. You must accept that if he hasn't gotten it together by now, he won't get it together any time soon. It's tempting to keep wa...

Self-love is the act of loving oneself. It involves accepting yourself and having high expectations for your own happiness and well-being. Over the last few years, I have been on a journey of self-love and it has been full of ups and downs. But, it has been worth every minute because I am now in a healthier place mentally, physically, and emotionally. I think it is important that as women, we recognize what love is and what it isn't. Learning how to love yourself is a great place to start that journey, because loving yourself will attract healthier relationships with others. Photo by Loe Moshkovska My Self-Love Journey I started my self-love journey with small steps — setting boundaries for myself, being mindful when making decisions, practicing positive affirmations each day, taking care of my physical body through exercise and healthy eating habits. These are all things that I had to work on within myself before I could start expecting anyone else to treat me differently or bette...