Authentically Nita

  I do not regret my divorce. I believe wholeheartedly that it was necessary. However, if I could have avoided it, I would have. I think it's best for people to explore other options before getting divorced. You can try marital counseling, taking time apart, or even an open marriage. If there is no abuse in the home, divorce should be your last option. Here's why: 1. It's ugly - You may start off thinking you and your ex would never engage in crazy, toxic behavior. Then at some point you get hit by negative angry emotions from your Ex. Emotions will be high. Expect conflict. 2. It hurts - Even when it’s necessary, divorce still hurts. You're walking away from something you spent years building, and that's not easy. It hurts both spouses and it hurts the children. 3. It takes time - Divorce is usually a long process. Even when both parties agree to the divorce, and there’s nothing to fight over, it can still end up being a 1 - 2 year process. 4. Divorce doesn't e

Life after Divorce is difficult. You vowed to be with one another for eternity and someone broke that vow. You may feel betrayed and confused. You are not alone. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to cry. But, eventually, you will have to pick yourself up. You will have to come to terms with detaching from your spouse and becoming whole within yourself. Divorce is not the end of your life but rather, it is a new beginning. This is going to take some time. It could potentially take weeks or months to move nearer to reality. Take as much time as you need. Heal at your own pace. Here are some things to consider while going through the process: Don't dwell on unanswered questions So many things may be running through your mind; Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? How did we get here? You may never get all the answers. Don't dwell on it. Move forward in comfort knowing that everything happens for a reason.  Forgive Yourself It's easy to look at divorce as failure. People

I literally had to grieve my divorce.  The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, letting go and acceptance. I have gone through each one of these stages. I had to remove someone from my life that had been part of it for sixteen years. I met him when I was 22 and my divorce was finalized when I was 38. The relationship had ended years before the divorce, but it took me a long time to accept it. I was gone mentally, long before I had physically picked up my things and drove off. I was hurt. I was sad. I was angry. I couldn’t understand how HE could do the things he did to me. The one person who was supposed to love me unconditionally broke me down bit-by-bit until I didn’t even understand why I was living. I didn’t understand why I was suffering. I didn’t understand why God put me in that place. I was angry with God. I felt myself breaking down and it was getting hard to pretend that everything was normal. I hated going home. I worked late and went into the office early whenever